


shatterpoint

by roguewn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ach-To, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon, Exegol, F/M, Fix-It, Han Solo - Freeform, Lando Calrissian - Freeform, Memory Loss, Multi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Sheev Palpatine - Freeform, Star Wars Legends Lore, Star Wars Lore, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Strangers to Lovers, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Time Travel, Timelines, World Between Worlds, also doctor who taught me nothing and this story is proof of it, i will surely fuck it up but please bear with me, my attempt at fixing this mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguewn/pseuds/roguewn
Summary: "Shatterpoint is a Force ability that can be used to sense the significance of an event that will have a great role in the course of fate.""But ask me the secrets of Sith alchemy, and I would ask you for three measures of blood: one from a person you love, one from a person you hate, and one from yourself." ―Naga Sadow, Dark Lord of the SithFive years after the Battle of Exegol, Rey has still not given up on her mission to bring Ben back. In her search for any knowledge that might help her, she finds out about the legendaryWorld Between Worlds. An ancient map tells her that Exegol and Ach-To are two portals to that world, one for the Dark Side and one for the Light Side.However, the World Between Worlds is a place as powerful as it is dangerous.Desperate to bring Ben back home, Rey is willing to sacrificeeverything.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reylo
Comments: 98
Kudos: 254





	1. 1. Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING:** this chapter depicts a scene of self-harm. Even though it's not done with the intention of self-harm or suicide, it's still a scene where a character hurts themselves, so if you're uncomfortable with it, I suggest you stop reading as soon as you see the mention of a **knife**.

**SHATTERPOINT - FOREWORD**

**"Shatterpoint is a Force ability that can be used to sense the significance of an event that will have a great role in the course of fate."**

"_But ask me the secrets of Sith alchemy, and I would ask you for three measures of blood: one from a person you love, one from a person you hate, and one from yourself._" ―Naga Sadow, Dark Lord of the Sith

Five years after the Battle of Exegol, Rey has still not given up on her mission to bring Ben back. In her search for any knowledge that might help her, she finds out about the legendary **World Between Worlds**. An ancient map tells her that Exegol and Ach-To are two portals to that world, one for the Dark Side and one for the Light Side.

However, the World Between Worlds is a place as powerful as it is dangerous. 

Desperate to bring Ben back home, Rey is willing to sacrifice _everything_.

This will be my first serious attempt at writing a story within the canon lore of Star Wars and I apologize in advance for any discrepancy or incorrect piece of info. My sources will be mainly wookieepedia, my Star Wars books and my brain, so it might happen that I just make shit up on the way.

The main plot is ready, I just need to fill in the middle chapters with more details, but I usually do it on the go. The first chapter should come soon, as for the update schedule, there isn't a fixed one, but depending on how long I decide to make the chapters, it could be once a week or once a month.

>>>In this story, Rey does some crazy stuff, for example using Sith knowledge. If you're uncomfortable with Rey tapping into her dark side, this is not the story for you! Also it is Angst with happy ending and I can assure you 100% it has a happy ending (why would I even write this as a fix-fic anyway if it wasn't happy?) but there might be mentions of character's death or even real deaths on the way, so be warned.<<<

These are the people whose ideas helped me outline this story, I can never thank them enough and I hope they'll be happy with what I came up with:

[**Angie, **](https://twitter.com/iridescentrey/status/1210147634255663104)**[Mera, ](https://twitter.com/pagethepunisher/status/1200424058086739971)[Téa, ](https://twitter.com/freyasolo/status/1207511060045012995)[Mel](https://twitter.com/creativeness176/status/1207581965597044736)**, your minds omg!

**[Dani](https://twitter.com/CardiganVixen/status/1209261181363531776)**, with their scans of the Visual Dictionary, was a real life-saver.

Special thanks to **[Alex](https://twitter.com/reylology) **because she's always my one and only hype squad and bigger brain.

You can find me on twitter [@roguewn](https://twitter.com/roguewn) so you can bully me into writing faster.

**May the fix fics be with you.**

____________________ 

**1\. Legacy**

_ Her hands are restless. She cups his face, feels the cold of his skin. She then palms his chest, feeling the stillness of it. Her fingers dig into the black cloth; she tugs at it gently, at first. _

_ “Wake up.” _

_ She doesn’t recognize her voice. It’s strained, pitched, almost foreign. Her throat hurts, her lungs hurt. Kriff, even her hands hurt. _

_ “Wa… wake up.” She tugs at his shirt again, stronger this time. It’s crumpled inside her fists as the man lying on the ground doesn’t seem to hear her. _

_ “Hey,” she tastes salt on her lips. Her own tears, streaming profusely down her cheeks. Her vision is too blurry to make out the features of his face, but she knows he isn’t looking at her and that is simply unacceptable. “Wake up!” _

_ She knows, deep down, that he won’t. She saw it in his eyes a moment before he collapsed. The ominous feeling that gripped her stomach as his warm hand left her nape to fall lifeless by his side.  _

_ She doesn’t want to name it. _

_ Raw cries start falling off her lips, like those of a wounded animal. She isn’t quite aware of making them as she now sobs without restraints, her hands still searching his body as if it holds the answer to bring him back to her. _

_ “You can’t do this to me,” she whispers, immediately cut off by another loud sob. A threat, a plea, she doesn’t know anymore. Her own breath betrays her, making her choke as she tries to inhale time and time again. The salty taste is all over her tongue now, his shirt has a big dark stain where her tears have been falling. _

_ The silence is too loud. That’s when she realizes– she isn’t supposed to be alone. She looks up, the stone walls echoing the sound of her cries and nothing else. _

_ “Be with me.” It’s a whisper, at first. That’s all she can manage. She looks on her left, then on her right. Every time she looks around she feels increasingly panicked, to the point of throwing up. _

_ “Be with me!” she shouts into the void, the words coming back at her as if to mock her last hope. They sound too desperate even to her ears.  _

_ The answer from the universe is sharp and cruel. Before her eyes, his body starts to fade away. Rey’s hands are quick to grab his arms, then his face, but her fingers wrap around thin air. _

_ A moment later, all that is left are his clothes, crumpled on the floor. Rey is stunned, but only for a moment. As soon as the realization of what has just happened hits her, she drops her head on his shirt, her shoulders sinking and rising with her sobs.  _

_ “Come back…” _

_ She knows it makes no sense to beg. No one has ever come back for her, except… him. And now he’s gone too. _

_ Time passes. She drifts in and out of conscience, trying to ignore the way his clothes are getting colder and colder by the minute. She holds them tight against her chest, tries to share her own warmth, except that by now she’s quite cold too, and she feels her energy slowly running out. _

_ A voice from the abyss calls her name. Dazed, Rey tries to identify it. Could it be–  _

_ “Rey!” _

_ It’s not the voice she wishes to hear. _

_ She doesn’t look back, but she hears footsteps approaching and two warm hands wrapping around her a few moments later. _

_ “Rey, we need to go.” Finn’s voice in her ear is hurried and full of worry. She knows he’s staring at the clothes in her arms and she can feel his confusion. _

_ Rey’s fingers are still clenching around the black shirt, her knuckles turning white. Her voice cracks.  _

_ “No.” _

_ Finn doesn’t listen. He tries to pick her up in his arms, thinking she’s too wounded to walk. Which she is, but it’s not the reason why she doesn’t want to go. _

_ “No!” Rey cries, focusing the last remnants of her strength to push him away. Her palm opens against him and a blast of energy erupts from it, despite her will. She doesn’t quite control it and sends Finn flying a few meters down the cracked floor, but he recovers immediately. Luckily, Rey is too weak to do any real damage. _

_ He finds his way back at her side, tries to pick her up again. _

_ She frees herself with a jerk. “Leave me.” _

_ “Rey, this place might collapse over our heads. We need to go home.” _

_ Home. _

_Rey looks at the clothes. He deserved to go home, too. He sacrificed everything for her and she couldn’t do anything for him. It’s not_ _fair._

_ Something rumbles from the depths of the planet, a menacing sound that promises destruction. Finn is way beyond negotiations. He pulls Rey away, wraps his arms around her waist when she tries to go back. _

_ “NO!” _

_ “Rey! We don’t have time!” _

_ “I’m not leaving him here!” _

_ “What are you talking about? There’s no one here!” _

_ “You don’t understand, he’s still here!” _

_ Finn shakes his head. “You’re wounded, I’m getting you out of this place.” _

_ Rey’s cries echo on the dark walls and against the gloomy statues of ancient gods whose ears are deaf to her prayers. Finn has to drag her away by force, as she keeps kicking and screaming with all that’s left in her. She can still feel the warmth where his hands have touched her, she feels the fabric of his clothes in her arms and she can’t believe that is all that’s left of him. _

_ The ominous feeling from before has now spread across her whole body. Just before passing out in Finn’s arms, Rey names it. _

_ Death. _

_ Ben is dead. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“–Ben?”

Rey snaps out of it. She blinks and looks around the cockpit of the Falcon, finding Chewie and Finn in the pilot seats. The latter is looking at her, sitting in the back, a book open over her thighs. He looks concerned.

Her head spins a little. “What did you say?”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“I thought you said–” she sighs. Of course, it couldn’t be the case. She’s hearing things, as always. “I’m fine. Where’s Rose?”

Finn nods at the corridor. “She’s getting some sleep. That problem with the power adapters kept her and BB8 up all night.”

“I should’ve helped them,” Rey mumbles, her fingers tracing the page of the book. “You shouldn’t have come in the first place,” she shakes her head.

“Whatever you’re trying to do, it’s dangerous and I don’t like it,” Finn says matter-of-factly, “but if you’re bent on going through with it, you’ll need all the help you can get.”

They have gone over this same argument way too many times before. For five years, to be exact. At first, Finn wouldn’t even listen to her and when he did, he would not talk to her for days. Bring back the dead? At what cost? Rey seemed ready to sacrifice it all and Finn couldn’t stand it. Then, Rey started travelling to find answers. Little by little, a plan started to delineate. Finn began to accept it, as long as Rey wouldn’t die. She promised, but what she was going to do was still something no one had tried to do before. Not in that way. Finn wanted to keep an eye on her.

Rey smiles. Her friend is concerned about her well-being, and it’s never a bad thing.

“That’s why I asked Chewie to come with me. Don’t you think Poe needed you more?”

“He’ll be too busy bickering with Zorii to notice we’re even gone. I pray they don’t set everything on fire. Let’s hope there’s still a Resistance when we come back.”

Chewie chooses that moment to warn them that they're about to exit lightspeed. Finn’s smile vanishes. “We’re here.”

Rey closes the book and stands up. In a flash of light, the endless stretch of stars is replaced by the oceans of Ahch-To.

The island is exactly as she remembers. Actually, it hasn’t been long since she was last here. The thought makes her grimace.

“Where should we land?” Finn asks.

“East coast,” Rey says, before walking out.

  
  


*

  
  


When they land, Rey is the first one to walk down the ramp. She doesn’t look around – by now, she has seen this place a thousand times.

Her companions follow shortly after. Rose is still rubbing her eyes, but she quickly wakes up when she feels the cold air of the island hitting her skin. She looks around, dazed. It’s her first time on the planet and that’s more or less everyone’s first impression of it – except for Finn, who’s too worried about what they’re going to do there to notice anything else.

“Rey, where is the place we’re looking for?” 

Rey turns around with a smile that screams trouble. Finn knows that smile too well and knows he’s not going to like her next words.

“I need to go alone.”

A stunned silence from the small group follows her words. Unexpectedly, Chewie is the first one to speak up.

“No,” Rey tells him. “I know what I’m doing.”

“You  _ think _ you know what you’re doing,” Finn remarks, agitated. “But no one actually knows what we’re doing here. Whatever you read in those books…” everyone glances at the old mesh-windowed salvage sack hanging from Rey’s shoulders. It looks way too heavy. “I really have a bad feeling about this.”

Rose puckers her lips. “Can’t we help you in any way?” Her tone is soft. She is concerned, but she seems to understand this is something that Rey needs to do on her own.

“Yes,” Rey fishes out a comlink from the back pocket of her pants. “When you hear from me, be as quick as possible. I left you a map with the exact location,” she shakes her head at Finn who’s already walking back to the Falcon to retrieve it. “BB8 won’t show it to you until I contact you.”

Everyone looks at the small round droid. BB8 simply beeps a few times, letting them know he doesn’t particularly fancy Rey’s plan either.

“Besides,” Rey continues, “it’s not a place you can enter just because you found it. So don’t try anything stupid,” she stares at Finn.

The general is by now resigned and his shoulders slump. He has only one question left to ask. 

“When will you be back?”

Rey turns around for a moment, glances at the huge stone wall that she knows is hiding the natural blowhole that leads to the cave. She sighs, “I’m not sure, maybe a few hours, maybe a few days.”

The rest of her words are left unspoken, but everyone hears them clear as day all the same.

_ If I don’t come back in a few days, leave without me. _

BB8 rolls to her side and nudges her leg; Rey crouches down and checks his antenna. After all those years, it’s still their way to say goodbye.

She hugs her friends one by one, trying to chase away the ominous thought that this could be the last time. She’ll be back. And when she’s back, she won’t be alone.

Finn has no last words to tell her, but he lets his eyes say everything as she finally turns her back on them and walks away. She still feels the warmth of Chewie’s hug for a while, and then not anymore.

They won’t understand, but she’s trying to protect them. Nothing good would come out of having them inside the cave. She has no idea what is going to happen next and she can’t ask them to risk their lives for her own desires. 

She was planning to come to Ahch-To alone. She knows that what she’s about to do might break the balance of the whole island and she doesn’t know how that will turn out. Hopefully, if things go horribly wrong, her friends will manage to flee on the Falcon before it’s too late.

Sooner than she expected, she’s alone in front of the black hole she has visited many times before. This time, she hopes, it’ll be different. It has to be.

During one of her previous visits, she had time to build a small device that would help her in the descent to the cave. Nothing fancy, she managed to excavate a small rock spike so as to turn it into the perfect point of support for a rope.

Without hesitation, she commences her perilous descent into the blowhole. It reminds her of when she used to climb through the wreckage on Jakku and it feels like a lifetime before. 

Once she reaches a good point, she begins swinging back and forth, until she gains enough momentum to leave the rope and jump to the side of the cave. She touches the ground, rolls to her side and lands perfectly, as always.

The dark mirror stands before her, cracked and glossy as she remembers. Rey stops right in front of it and looks inside. Or tries to.

The mirror doesn’t show her anything. Not even her own reflection. 

Rey isn’t surprised. Her memory quickly brings her back once again.

The days after the Battle of Exegol are blurry in her mind. She vaguely remembers waking up in a bacta tank, then again in a bed. She remembers how everyone was incredibly happy to see her alive and even happier for the huge victory over the First Order. 

She remembers not being happy at all. She remembers all the nights spent crying by herself in her small room, calling out to the stars, calling out to  _ him _ . 

She remembers not being able to tell anyone about what really happened, not for a long time. She remembers feeling like no one would understand or worse, care. She remembers having to fake smiles all the time, trying to get involved in anything just to bring her mind away from her dark thoughts.

She remembers going on reckless missions just to stay away from anything and anyone. The battle was won, but the war was far from over and Rey used that to her advantage.

She remembers always feeling like half of her was missing at all times. A hole in her chest nothing and no one could fill. Sometimes, at night, the void inside of her was so vast she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

Rose was the first one to notice that something wasn’t right. One night she was in Rey’s room, apparently for no reason. When Rey woke up, Rose told her she was screaming in pain. And it wasn’t the first time. Rose heard her screaming every night for weeks. At first she thought it was because of the battle, but when the screams didn’t stop, she became worried. Rey wasn’t aware, but the realization of how broken she actually was made her drop her head on Rose’s lap and cry her heart out that night.

She told her everything. About Palpatine, about her real family, about Ben. 

Especially about Ben. 

It was a shock to find out Rose completely understood. She didn’t judge her or Ben. She caressed her head, wiped her tears away and told her something that would stick with Rey forever.

“When I lost Paige, I thought the universe would cease to exist. I was angry that everything and everyone could just go on like nothing happened, while I was stuck and unable to move on. At times, I hated myself. I wondered why I was so weak and why I couldn’t just move on. We’re at war, it happens, I told myself. Get yourself together, I repeated over and over. But Rey… I was wrong.” Rey remembers thinking she had never looked more fierce and beautiful than she had that night. 

“Your pain is valid,” Rose told her. “Your love is valid. You deserve to mourn him. You deserve to talk about him, if you want to.”

Rey took her advice to heart. Slowly, she started opening up about what really happened on Exegol. She told everyone Ben Solo had saved her life. Not everyone believed her in the beginning, but she kept telling her story, until people simply accepted it or pretended to. She didn’t care either way, she just wanted people to know who Ben Solo was and to keep him in their thoughts, because he deserved to be remembered as a hero just like everyone else.

It didn’t help her sleep at night, but it did ease the pain a little. She wanted him to know, so sometimes she would call for him, but he never answered. 

She had seen Force Ghosts before, but somehow Ben never showed up in front of her and it hurt. She didn’t believe he wouldn’t want to see her. What was the meaning of his body disappearing, then?

Some time later, as she went through Luke’s ancient Jedi texts, she came across a map she didn’t notice before. It was the strangest map Rey had ever seen: a series of small circles marked a handful of planets connected by crooked lines.

The map claimed to be illustrating the Chain Worlds Theorem. A world between the worlds. 

Rey was weirdly intrigued by it. The texts said the World Between Worlds was a mystical plane outside of time and space where every single event in history happened at once. It was located within the Force and therefore only accessible through specific portals, which were hard to locate and even harder to access.

The map seemed to indicate that one of these portals was on the very planet of Exegol. And another one – to Rey’s complete and utter shock – was allegedly residing on Ahch-To.

Rey delved into it and found that each portal was strong in either the Light Side or the Dark Side of the Force. Moreover, a Light Side portal and a Dark Side one could happen to be connected, effectively creating a world in between.

Needless to say, it quickly became Rey’s new obsession. She started making theories, and theories turned into dots and those dots were slowly finding connections. 

What if Ben didn’t show up as a Force Ghost because he wasn’t a Force Ghost? She couldn’t be sure, but at times, when she reached out for him, she felt his steady pulse from the Force. Weak, fading, but present. It never lasted long and it always left her wondering if she actually really felt him. 

But his body disappeared on Exegol and now she found out Exegol was a door to another world? It couldn’t be a coincidence. And the cave on Ahch-To? The Force around that place was darker than any other place Rey had seen and yet, the island was the place where the first Jedi Temple was built.

_ Powerful light, powerful darkness _ , Luke used to say. What if the first Jedi had chosen that place exactly because of the dark force beneath the island? Then, was the cave the Dark Side portal? She had entered it once, unaware of its true nature. She could do it again.

Or so Rey thought. 

Now, standing in front of the cracked glass wall, the memory of her first trip to Ahch-To after the discovery of the portal has a bittersweet taste to it. She remembers boarding the Falcon full of hopes. She would bring Ben back in the blink of an eye and everything would be alright again.

Rey drags her fingertips across the dark mirror.  _ If only _ .

The cave didn’t let her in. Not that time, nor the following ones. And there had been so many times in those five years.

Just as the mirror seemed to mock her desire for belonging when it showed her face instead of her parents, it was now seemingly mocking her desire to bring Ben back. No matter how much she screamed or cried or bumped her fists against the stone, the mirror never opened again.

It took her five years and an uncountable number of journeys, but maybe she finally has everything she needs to open that portal.

Rey drops her sack on the ground, kneels and takes out the ancient Jedi texts. Then, she takes out another book, a bigger one. Its cover is plain black, with no decorations nor writing.

Or so it seems to those with untrained eyes. Rey can see it all: the red veins running through it from the cover to the back; the small claw-like bumps, as if something from the inside has been trying to come out from the pages; and lastly, the symbol right at the center: a big, red eye, from which golden lines spike like sun rays in every direction, only to be connected through a circle.

Rey leaves the Jedi texts aside and places the black book beside her. Then, she takes out the last item, something that looks like an ancient basin made of dark stone. It’s fairly cracked and worn out by the passing of time and the broken piece under it suggests it was once part of something else or that it used to stand on some sort of support.

Rey places the basin in front of her and opens the book, which immediately goes to a specific page, as if she has been reading that one way more often than the others. The words are written in Sith.

She takes a deep breath.

“Rey.”

Startled, Rey jerks around, lightsaber in her hand.

Luke is standing beside the mirror, hands clasped in front of him and a grave expression on his face. He’s exactly as she remembers from the last time she saw him on the island.

Rey puts away the saber and focuses back on the book, unfazed by his presence.

“Rey, what are you doing?”

“You know what I’m doing.”

“I know,” he sighs. “I’m asking if  _ you _ know.”

Rey smirks, looking briefly at the ceiling in resignation before finally meeting his gaze.

“What do you want, Luke?”

Luke doesn’t reply. He stares at his ex-padawan long and hard, until Rey starts feeling uncomfortable. Then, he turns to the mirror.

“It doesn’t let you in.”

Rey sighs, her fingers following a line on the book as she reads. “Yeah, that’s why I’m doing this.”

“Did you ask yourself why it won’t let you in?”

“Because this place has never done anything other than mock me.”

“No.”

Rey looks up. Luke hasn’t moved, but his presence feels mightier somehow.

“It’s trying to protect you.”

The words echo across the cave. Rey looks at the cracked surface of the glass wall. Something on the other side seems to vibrate.

“I don’t care,” she takes a small knife out of her bag. She used to scavenge parts with it on Jakku and sometimes she had to use it for self-defense too. Now, she places it on the book.

Luke follows her every movement. “That basin is…”

“Yes,” she scowls at him. “It’s my grandfather’s.” The words fall from her mouth not without a pang in her chest. “He used it to enter a portal just like this one.” She rolls up her left sleeve and pretends to focus on that. “Are you going to stand there or will you finally leave?”

Luke takes a step forward. “Rey, don’t go this way.” He sounds truly concerned now. “You don’t know what’s on the other side. The place you’re trying to reach is very dangerous. Every action, every choice you made there can have terrible consequences. That’s why the mirror wouldn’t let you in all these years. The Force is protecting you and the galaxy whole.”

Rey doesn’t flinch, but the Force around her is quickly turning darker. The energy field surrounding her is so strong that even Luke can’t help but take a step back. 

“I don’t need protection. I just need him back.”

Without hesitation, she points the knife against her skin. She closes her eyes to focus. The words are right there in front of her eyes, written in the language of the Sith. She has read them so many times.

_ Three measures of blood. One from yourself. _

She makes a small cut across her arm, not bad enough to cause excessive bleeding, but deep enough that she can pour some drops into the basin.

_ One from a person you love. _

She takes a black shirt out of the bag and brings it to her face. His scent has faded long ago, but she can still recall it.

She swallows the lump in her throat and uses the knife to scratch one of the blood stains on the cloth. Dried blood falls in the basin like snow. This is all she has. She hopes it will work.

_ And finally… _

“...one from a person you hate,” she whispers. She stills for a moment.

Luke speaks again, his tone stern but not taunting. “You didn’t think this through, did you?”

Rey’s eyes are hollowed and spent, but she still grins at the Jedi Master.

“I did.” She points the knife at her dried up wound again. “The Emperor’s blood runs in my veins.”

She pushes the sharp edge deeper, drawing more blood than her previous attempt. As soon as the first drop touches the cracked stone, blue flames erupt from the basin as dark whispers fill Rey’s head. She tries hard to resist them and focuses her energy against the cave mirror.

The glass starts to vibrate. It wants to resist her command, but the ritual is too powerful and Rey is using her own life energy against the mirror. She gets up, arm stretched in front of her as the flames follow her movements and crash against the stone surface like an ocean wave. She grits her teeth, but the effort drags a growl out of her. For a moment, her eyes flicker yellow.

“REY!” Luke’s scream falls on deaf ears.

The vibration grows more intense by the second. Rey stretches her wounded arm as well, palms open in the mirror’s direction. The blue flames have invaded the whole cave by now, but she isn’t affected by them.

_ Ben. _

She pushes herself harder. More cracks start appearing on the dark stone.

_ I’m coming for you. _

With a deafening sound, the mirror explodes into a million pieces. The violence of the blast pushes Rey into the water, effectively saving her from the multitude of fragments flying around.

Underwater, she loses consciousness for a moment. A voice fills her mind, familiar and sinister. She doesn’t understand what it says, but it wakes her up.

She quickly hauls herself back on the surface, noticing how the blue flames have completely vanished. The basin and all her belongings are exactly where she left them. Everything looks the same, except – the mirror is gone. The passage is open.

Rey throws everything back inside her bag. She takes her time only for Ben’s shirt, folding it properly before sliding it inside. She feels drained and exhausted, but she knows the hardest part is yet to come. She’s determined.

She rips the edge of her shirt and wraps an improvised bandage around her wound. It’s nothing serious, it can wait. She stands up and pulls the backpack behind her shoulders. 

Luke is standing in front of the portal.

Rey knows she can simply walk through him but she doesn’t. “What now?” She  _ is _ irritated though.

Luke’s eyes are full of pain. “Rey… what you’ve just done is–”

“Let me through.”

“If what you’re trying to do were so easy, everyone would bring people back from the dead. Don’t you understand? Of all the people who started on this path, how many of them you think came back?”

“I’ll be one of them.” She stops. “ _ We’ll _ be.”

_ He’ll be with me. We’re in this together. _

“Ben was my nephew,” Luke says, softly. “There’s nothing I want more than having him back. Still, your actions might change the destiny of the whole galaxy. Are you sure you can bear this responsibility?”

In a fit of rage, Rey ignites her lightsaber and points it at the Jedi’s throat. “Where were _ you _ when he was dying?!”

Luke falls silent. Rey tries to control her heavy breathing, as tears start falling down her cheeks.

“Where were you when he called for help? Where were you when  _ I  _ was holding his lifeless body in my arms and I called for your help, for ANYONE?” 

She swallows hard. She doesn’t want to lose focus, her mission is too important. She turns off her lightsaber and collects herself before speaking again.

“You don’t get to say a word about him or about me. You have no place in this story.”

Rey walks past her ex-master. She doesn’t turn around to see if he’s still there or not. She doesn’t even reach out to see if she can still feel him. She doesn’t care about anything that isn’t what is in front of her. 

The cave is quite different from the last time she has been there. There is no copy of her, no sound and no light. The path ahead is nothing but darkness, but she’s not afraid. She has lived in that same darkness since the day she lost him. She is hopeful for the first time in years.

_ Ben. _

_ Wait for me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Jedi texts](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/9/9c/The_original_Jedi_texts.png/revision/latest?cb=20180421040818)
> 
> [Ahch-To map](https://starwarsblog.starwars.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2018/03/star-wars-last-jedi-visual-dictionary-temple-island-interior-page.jpg)
> 
> [Chain Worlds Theorem](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMfZqUAXUAI5uM1.jpg)
> 
> [Exegol's location](https://66.media.tumblr.com/191ab5bb72c458310021b3973cc1cbfb/d3199a129116877a-10/s1280x1920/ed6750b6f1239444747d5519d91edaf85f7b983c.png)
> 
> [Naga Sadow](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Naga_Sadow)
> 
> [Sith book (Naga Sadow's symbol)](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/1/17/Naga_Sadow_WotC.jpg)
> 
> [Rey's knife](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ab/7a/ac/ab7aacde8a1fe4c3dcd34cf665e07331.jpg)
> 
> [Rey's bag](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/30/bc/7f/30bc7ff5ffa8c5b0103ecdf7853a2e1f.jpg)
> 
> [Basin](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/c/ca/Dark_side_ritual.png/revision/latest?cb=20150414025015)
> 
> [Blue flames](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/0/0f/Rebels-413-world-between-worlds-emperor-tall.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180327195751)
> 
> Hi everyone, if this is the first time you read something of mine, welcome and sorry in advance! 
> 
> This story will probably be the hardest thing I've ever written, because I need to play within the Star Wars lore and it's gonna be a pain in the ass, but I'm also ready to take this dare! For those who came into this expecting full dark rey to be a huge part of the story: I'm sorry, I'm afraid it won't feature as much as you wish to. But I hope you can still enjoy it!
> 
> It took me long, I know, but for the longest time I was debating whether to end the chapter before or after the ritual. I thought I could maybe spend the whole second chapter on the ritual, but then I thought it would delay Ben's appearance and it would be a crime!
> 
> I made a point of not mentioning Ben's name for the whole flashback because I wanted it to have more impact at the end, when Rey realizes he died. I hope it worked! I also hope I gave justice to that scene, because one of the things that most disappointed me when I watched the movie was how Rey wasn't given time to mourn him, so I tried to imagine how it could go. Needless to say, Finn manages to find her since he's Force-sensitive!
> 
> One of my favorite parts of this chapter is the interaction between Rey and Rose, that we were denied in the movie. I decided I will try to insert as many Rey/Rose interactions as possible in this story, to make up for it. I think these two women have a lot more in common than we think.
> 
> My sources for the Star Wars lore of this chapter are mostly Legends, Wookieepedia and the SW Rebels episode about the World Between Worlds, but I think whoever has watched it probably realized it immediately haha
> 
> The Sith book is made up, even though Sith have written many books and in particular, Naga Sadow has written several texts on the Sith alchemy that Rey uses in this chapter. The symbol I described as being on the book is actually Sadow's symbol and not the Sith's (you can find the picture in the list).
> 
> Next chapter we're going full World Between Worlds, who's coming with me? Let's get Ben back!
> 
> I hope you liked this one and here's a little reminder all comments/reviews are much appreciated♥ See you soon with the next one!


	2. 2. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter: [LISTEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn6kBvb-fag)

**2\. Mother**

  
  
  


For a long time, there is nothing but darkness.

Rey now understands why Luke told her not many people manage to walk that path and come back. There is absolutely no sound in that space, not even her own steps or breath. A complete lack of sensorial stimulation. It’s enough to make anyone go insane in a matter of minutes.

Rey can feel the ground under her feet, but that’s it. She doesn’t see the ground, she doesn’t even know if there is one. She feels like she’s been walking for hours and she doesn’t know in which direction.

This isn’t what she expected. The books she’s read on the topic didn’t mention any of this. One mentioned that that particular plane of existence can look different for any person who enters it, but what does it mean? That all that’s in Rey’s mind is darkness? She can’t believe this.

“Ben?” she calls, but her voice doesn’t reach her ears. Her words get immediately eaten by the darkness. She swallows her own fear – she’s well aware it would be wiser not to let her mind be clouded by that kind of emotions when she doesn’t know what entities are lurking in the dark.

Suddenly, her foot slips and she falls, expecting the impact with the ground. Instead, to her surprise, she keeps falling. And falling. Strangely enough, she’s not scared. She’s visited enough sacred places by now to know that everything in there is easily molded by her mind, so if she thinks she will crash to the ground and die, that’s probably what will happen. But if she just thinks of where she wants to go – of  _ who _ she wants to reach – maybe she might get there. 

There is a light at the end of whatever she’s falling through and Rey’s eyes are so used to the darkness that even that small beacon of lightning is enough to blind her. She reaches her hand out to it and watches it become bigger and bigger until it completely wraps around her, obliterating her senses. She’s not sure if she’s actually screaming or if it’s just all in her mind. There is still no sound around her, not until…

Her satchel drops on the floor with a light thud. That’s the first sound she’s heard in hours. 

She curls her fingers, feels the soil under her nails. She can hear her own breathing now, her own heartbeat. She’s sprawled on the ground and she doesn’t feel any pain, as if she fell from a single step instead of an endless tunnel.

Her eyes open to what looks like the ceiling of a cave, just like the one on Ahch-To. At least, she thinks, this is a real place and not just obscurity.

She sits up, ignites her saber and drags her bag over her knees. A quick check inside reassures her that nothing was broken in the fall, as unlikely as it sounds. 

As she looks around, she realizes the walls of that place are very much like the glass cave she just left. The sight unsettles her; she has walked so much that she really thought she was way out of the island already. If that passage truly connects Ahch-To and Exegol, she thinks she should’ve been halfway there.

_ Enough thinking. _

She stands up and swings the saber one way and the other, trying to catch a glimpse of anything. She can’t see any light or crossroad from where she is, so she closes her eyes and lets the Force guides her. 

A soft breeze starts caressing her face. Her eyes snap open.

_ Left. _

She fishes out her knife and carves a sign into the stone, just to mark her passage in case the place reveals itself to be a labyrinth. As she does so, an image of her wall of marks on Jakku flashes before her eyes, but she quickly dismisses it. 

She’s grateful for her wit a few minutes later, when she begins to realize that all the walls in that place look exactly the same. Sometimes the cave gets smaller or larger, but that’s pretty much the only change in the environment. The breeze has stopped as well.

Rey looks at the yellow light of her saber. She remembers when she first started building it. 

  
  


_ It was in the winter and though all seasons on Ajan Kloss were lukewarm, it was raining heavily that day and the temperature had dropped a few degrees. _

_ Rey was at her working table, sketching what her saber should look like. She didn’t have a clear picture in her mind, only that she wanted to build her own saber as soon as possible. _

_ She was alone, everyone had gathered on the ships to find shelter from the rain and probably get something warm to drink. She didn’t mind some time for herself, every now and then. Jumping from a lonely life in the desert to being part of something as crowded as the Resistance was a bit overwhelming for her, at times. _

_ But she wasn’t alone this time. _

_ She felt the shift in the air around her first, the pull of the Force soon after.  _

_ And at last,  _ his _ voice. _

_ “Took you long enough,” he sounded bitter, but also… relieved. _

_ She didn’t turn around. “I didn’t do anything.” _

_ “You shut me out. For months.” _

_ “If I were, you wouldn’t be here now, would you?” _

_ “Yes,” his voice lowered, as always when he was in deep thoughts. “Something must be different this time. What are you doing?” _

_ Rey felt his presence approaching from behind, as if he were really there. And for her, only for her, he was. _

_ She grabbed a few pieces of scrap metal and tried to put them together following her sketches, to see what her saber would look like. It didn’t feel right. At all. _

_ “Don’t you need a kyber before you start building a saber?” came his mocking voice from behind. He was way closer than she could accept. _

_ “I’m working on it. I would ask where you found yours, but it doesn’t look too good, does it?” _

_ That shut him up. Rey could feel his anger start to boil, but she wasn’t scared. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her. _

_ She stopped, hands mid-air.  _ How _ did she know, exactly? _

_ “Why won’t you look at me?” He asked, calmly. _

_ She sighed, already exhausted by that brief conversation. “Do you have your shirt on?” _

_ “Yes. Is that a problem?” _

_ Rey rolled her eyes and didn’t reply.  _

_ The wind knocked some of her sketch papers off the table. When she bent down to retrieve them, she found that one of the papers was picked up by a very familiar hand. _

_ She looked up. He stood there, unharmed, looking back at her. No mask, no cape and no gloves.  _

_ He had that look in his eyes – the one he had when she shut the door of the Falcon on him. Pained, confused, guilty; maybe a little more accusing, probably because of her refusal to see him. _

_ He broke eye-contact first and looked at the sketch. He smirked. “You will never build a saber.” _

_ Rey regretted the little pang in her chest she felt when she saw his eyes. She snatched the paper back.  _

_ “No one asked for your opinion.” _

_ “No.” _

_ She remembered that tone. It was the same he used just before telling her the truth about the Jedi Temple. She knew he was about to tell her something she would not like, but that would ultimately turn out to be true. _

_ “You’re missing the most important step. The crystal. Everything revolves around it,” he took a few steps towards her; the table prevented her from retreating. “The journey to the crystal is the lesson. Once you’ve learned it, the lightsaber will come to you.” _

_ “What… what do you mean ‘it will come to me’?” _

_ He was dangerously close now and she tried to remember where she left the blue saber. _

_ “It will be in your mind.”  _

_ Her legs were between his legs, their bodies almost touching. Rey was ready to push him away, but she didn’t. He didn’t look… threatening. He was simply staring into her eyes, an emotion in them she couldn’t quite comprehend, but she knew it didn’t belong to Kylo Ren. _

_ He left her sketch on the table, right beside her hand and retreated until she had enough personal space to feel safe. _

_ It suddenly felt really cold. She shivered and rubbed her bare arms up and down. He was still there, still staring. _

_ “Is this the moment where you ask me once again to join you?” She mocked him, this time. “I’m afraid the answer stayed the same.” _

_ He reached behind him and threw something at her. Rey instinctively crossed her arms in front of her face in self-defense. _

_ “When this war is over, Rey,” came his low voice, like velvet wrapping around her body, “I hope you will remember I always wanted us to be on the same side.” _

_ When Rey lowered her arms, he was gone. The sound of the rain erupted once again in her ears, overwhelming everything else.  _

_ She stared at the spot where he was standing, trying to make sense of his words. Then, she looked at her feet and found what he had thrown at her. She picked it up: it was heavy, large, as pitch black as the rest of his clothes. And incredibly soft and warm. _

_ A blanket. _

  
  
  


Rey’s saber casts its yellow light upon a crossroad. Come to think of it now, she should’ve listened to him. He never lied to her – he wasn’t always right, but he tried to protect her in his own way. Rey sees it now. She had five years to relive their last day over and over again.

The two paths are equally darker going ahead. Rey closes her eyes and asks the Force for advice, once again. She doesn’t even know why the Force should help her after what she’s just done, but she hopes her intentions are a good enough reason. 

She feels it again, that breeze. 

_ Left. _

The cave shrinks and Rey suddenly has to crawl. Once again, her years scavenging on Jakku prove essential not to throw her into a panic fit. It’s hard to crawl with her lightsaber ignited, so she turns it off and hopes she doesn’t fall into another hole.

She proceeds on all fours for a long time, hoping she isn’t missing some important sign, though she fears that cave offers none. She doesn’t even know in which direction she’s going. It doesn’t feel like she’s proceeding downwards, nor upwards and she’s quite disappointed as well: she didn’t expect a mystical place to be so boring.

When she feels like breathing comes more easily, she stops and ignites the saber again. The cave is much larger now, to her relief. 

She pulls herself up, not without her shoulders screaming in pain under the weight of her satchel. Indeed, she’s exhausted. But she should be closer than ever to her destination.

That part of the cave feels indeed very different, though she can’t quite figure out how or why. She moves the lightsaber near the walls, trying to catch some hint– and then she sees it.

The mark she engraved in the stone at the very beginning.

“No,” her voice cracks. It’s impossible. 

She turns around – she doesn’t remember seeing the small tunnel she just came out from the first time she was there.

And indeed, the tunnel is gone. The passage is wide and open on both sides, just like before. 

Rey is breathless. Her legs are shaking, but she starts running all the same. She runs in the same direction she went before, reaches the same crossroad. This time, she goes right.

The cave doesn’t shrink this time, not at any point. She stops running when she feels like her body can’t take it anymore, but she keeps walking. And walking. And walking.

And she eventually finds herself in front of marked stone, again.

“What is the meaning of this?” it comes out like a whisper. The Force is making fun of her. She can’t accept it.

She covers the same path multiple times, from both directions. Sometimes there’s a crossroad, sometimes the cave splits in three or four different tunnels. She tries them all. She crawls when she needs to crawl, she climbs when she needs to climb; she falls multiple times and she can feel her feet bleeding in her shoes, but she doesn’t stop.

Her path always takes her back to the same spot.

Wounded and weakened, Rey falls on her hands and knees and presses her forehead against the cold ground, her head too heavy for her drained body.

Her fingers dig into the soil as the silence of the cave is broken by her first sobs.

“ _ Please _ .”

She doesn’t care about looking strong anymore. She doesn’t care if whatever entities inhabit that place can feel the fear in her heart.

“I just want him back,” she pleads, tears falling from her closed eyes directly onto the dusty ground. “He deserves to go home. Please, help me take him home.”

“ _ Rey? _ ”

Her head snaps up. That was… his voice? 

_ No _ , she reasons,  _ impossible. _

But there’s something different in the air now. Rey can’t see it, but she can feel it through the Force. A wave of relief washes over her for no reason and she has to take a deep breath and close her eyes. It’s comforting and… healing.

When she opens them again, there’s a small light in the distance, growing bigger and bigger. It’s followed by a soft noise, like the fluttering of a butterfly. 

Once it’s close enough, Rey can see that it’s a small bird. She has seen it before, but she isn’t sure whether in dreams or reality. The name of the creature is on her mind, somehow.

_ A convor. _

It is indeed a small convor with a white plumage that is only slightly shaded in gold on its back and on the top of its head. The creature stops on a rock a few meters away from Rey and stares at her with its big, golden brown eyes.

Rey is trapped into a déjà vu. She has seen those eyes before, she’s sure of it. But they belonged to a person, they belonged to a…

The convor emits a small sound, sharp and sweet. Rey rubs her swollen eyes with the edge of her sleeve and opens her bag.

After growing up on a desert planet with so little resources, the first thing that comes to her mind upon seeing the small creature is fairly obvious.

“Are you hungry? I’m not sure I have anything you can eat…” She rummages through her things, unable to see anything clearly with all the tears that keep forming in her eyes. “What do you eat, anyway? Do you even eat at all? I mean, since you’re trapped down here I guess you don’t need that much food…” she chuckles, or tries to, but it comes out suffocated.

She finds the portions she prepared for her journey, in case she would spend several days away from the surface and in case… Ben would be hungry. 

The food isn’t quite enough, but she figures that if she’s trapped in there she’s not going to survive anyway.

She reaches out to the creature. “Here, try this.”

The convor cocks its head, studying both Rey and her offer for a little while. Then, it takes off and lands graciously on her wrist, ignoring the food. Instead, it covers with small steps the whole length of her arm and stops on her shoulder. 

Rey is taken aback, but she tries to remain as still as possible, while the creature continues to study her. It seems fascinated by her tears, so much that it gently pokes her cheek with its beak and lets Rey’s tears stream over it.

“What are you… doing,” it’s not really a question. She doesn’t expect the convor to answer.

Indeed, the little creature doesn’t make a sound, but its little tongue darts out to taste Rey’s tears. As soon as it does, it seems reinvigorated by it. It shakes its plumage and flies away.

“Hey– Wait!” 

Rey quickly throws everything back in her satchel and runs after the little bird. Its white feathers seem to cast a light against the dark walls of the cave, and that light grows stronger and stronger until the cave is no more.

There is nothing but darkness around her, now. Or so it seems. Rey stops to take a good look at her surroundings and is left breathless by what she sees.

Stars.

All around her, an endless stretch of stars in the night sky, even beneath her feet. She’s floating through space and yet she’s not. She’s walking, she can literally see her every step leaving a small pool of light behind. It’s more than anything she’s ever imagined and for a moment she doesn’t even notice the bright light suddenly appearing in front of her.

Rey stops looking at the sky to find that the small convor is now resting on the shoulder of a woman. She is immediately fascinated by her. Even if her hair weren’t flowing weightlessly on her shoulders and she weren’t surrounded by light, Rey could tell she is someone special.

The Force around her is warm and quiet. Rey has never felt so at peace in the presence of anyone before. 

She is beautiful in that long silk dress and she has flowers in her brown hair. She smiles at Rey and Rey can’t help but notice that she looks sad, somehow.

“Uhm, hi,” Rey says, feeling like nothing in comparison to the incredibly stunning woman in front of her. “What is your name?”

The brown-haired lady doesn’t offer any answer, but the way she looks at Rey grows softer.

“I’m Rey,” she says, feeling only slightly stupid.

The lady nods this time. She knows.

_ Ohh, she can’t speak? _ , Rey wonders.  _ Maybe I should only ask simple yes or no questions. _

“Are we… Are we inside the mystical plane that is called the World Between Worlds?”

The lady shakes her head slowly.

Rey feels a lump in her throat. “Do you know… how to get there?”

The lady looks at her for a long moment. She nods.

Rey’s heart starts hurting. “Can you– Can you help me get there? Please, I…” she quickly wipes a few tears with her sleeve. She wants to look strong now. “I need to find someone.”

The young woman walks towards her, though walking isn’t exactly the right word. Rey can’t see her feet and she moves like she’s weightless, with endless grace.

She cups Rey’s face with both hands. Her touch is delicate and reassuring and her fingertips slowly caress Rey’s skin. 

Rey wouldn’t know, but she figures that this is how a mother’s touch would feel like. She looks into her brown eyes and sheds a few more tears. She feels connected to this woman and she doesn’t even know why.

The lady wipes away Rey’s tears and, with a smile, her lips finally open to say a single word. Even though her voice doesn’t come out, Rey understands all the same and feels her legs giving up on her.

_ Ben. _

“...Yes,” she sobs. “Yes, I’m looking for him, for Ben. Did you see him? Is he alright?” She’s trembling now. “Can I… Can I see him?”

The lady backs away slowly and offers Rey her hand. Around her wrist, Rey notices a bracelet with what looks like a rectangular-shaped pendant; a good luck charm carved in wood.

“...Do we know each other?” She can’t help but ask. “Why are you helping me?”

The lady nods at the convor, then at Rey. She taps her fingertip against her cheek and then she places that same hand on her chest, above her heart. She nods at Rey’s chest as well.

_ My friend saw what’s in your heart. You have a good heart. _

Rey smiles through her tears and finally takes the lady’s hand. As soon as their fingers brush, a round portal gets outlined just behind the woman as if someone was sketching it just now against the black sky. 

It’s magical, ethereal, and Rey is immediately attracted to it. There are words written around the portal, a language Rey has never seen before. She gets closer, tries to recognize the symbols. She almost steps on the threshold when she feels a pull on her hand.

She turns around. The lady looks worried now.

“I know,” Rey says, smiling softly. “But I’m the only one who can bring him back. I’ll be alright.”

The lady hesitates, her golden brown eyes piercing Rey’s soul. The convor takes off from her shoulder and flies through the portal. As soon as it does, she nods.

_ Your guide. _

Her hand slowly leaves Rey’s. She tries to hold onto it. “Wait– You’re not coming with me?”

Their fingers brush one last time as the woman retreats effortlessly into the night sky. She shakes her head, a shadow of sadness washes once again over her face.

_ She cannot enter this place _ , Rey realizes. She wonders if she has loved ones she wishes to see as well. She wonders if she can see them from wherever she’s from. Rey hopes she does.

She places her feet on the threshold. A path begins to form in front of her and extends to infinity. It is made of lines of light that split, cross and curve across the unending stretch of space. Rey can see more than one portal too, some are so far away that they merge with the starry sky.

It is a place of endless possibilities. Like a castle of cards, every choice made in that world can have unpredictable consequences on everything else.

Rey’s legs don’t move. She came this far, but now she’s crippled with fear. What if Ben isn’t there? What if she makes the wrong choice? What if, while trying to do the right thing, she actually makes it worse? What if she finds out that, all along, Ben was lost to her?

She covers her face with her hands. “Stop it. Stop it, this is not _you_.”

It all comes crashing down. All the years spent grieving, all the journeys across the galaxy, all the dangers she encountered during her search, all the times she thought she had no other choice but to give up and all the times she rose back to her feet and swore she would do it for Ben, no matter the cost.

She is here now and she’s going to bring him home.

A voice resonates across the stars above her head. It’s a female voice and Rey wonders if it belongs to the ethereal lady, though it sounds like it would belong to an older woman.

** _“Now, be brave, and don’t look back.”_ **

Rey takes the advice to heart. Slowly, but steadily, she passes through the portal and immediately falls to her knees, overwhelmed by a presence she has not felt this strongly for the past five years.

“Ben…” she murmurs, her hand pressed against her chest. She can feel him through the Force, his pulse strong and steady. He’s there and she just needs to find him.

“Ben?” she calls, walking towards where she feels his presence is stronger. Every portal seems to activate as she passes by. Inside, Rey witnesses fragments and shadows of things that were and things that are yet to come. 

Wars, duels, sacrifices, families, life, death. Every single event that ever went down in the history of the galaxy is happening at the same time. Rey tries to connect what she sees with the stories she’s heard, but she can hardly recognize any of it.

As the portals activate one by one, the space around her fills with voices that overlap with each other. Rey wishes to understand what they’re saying, but she only catches glimpses of it.

** _“...it’s your time to look back…”_ **

** _“You were my brother, Anakin.”_ **

** _“...at who you left behind.”_ **

** _“Are you an angel?”_ **

The convor suddenly leaves her shoulder and flies away. Rey immediately runs after it, but she feels overwhelmed by the amount of voices she can hear. Some of them sound  _ way _ too familiar.

** _“...they’re never coming back…”_ **

** _“I’ll come back, sweetheart”_ **

** _“...there’s someone who still could.”_ **

** _“You want this, don’t you?”_ **

** _“...I promise.”_ **

“Maz?” she says, well-aware she can’t be there. Everything feels too real and at the same time, nothing does. 

The small bird guides her through the depth of that dimension, along paths that didn’t even exist before Rey stepped on them. She knows she’s at her limit, the only thing keeping her conscious is the ever stronger presence of Ben around her. He’s close, he’s  _ so _ close now. She feels like she can almost touch him, even if she can’t see him.

** _“Be strong. Just a little bit longer.”_ **

** _“...balance…”_ **

** _“...more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”_ **

** _“...binds the universe together…”_ **

** _“These are your final steps.”_ **

The convor finally stops over a portal that carries different symbols from the one Rey came from. When she turns around, she can’t even see it anymore and she wonders if she’ll be able to find her way out of there. 

_ It’s gonna be alright _ , she tells herself,  _ I won’t be alone. _

** _“You’re not alone,”_ ** says a voice she knows too well. Rey instinctively looks up, aware it was just some echo of her past. And then comes another voice, darker, angrier; a voice Rey wishes she could forget.

_ “At last, my girl.” _

Rey immediately ignites her lightsaber. “You can’t be here.” She whispers.

_ “No? And yet, wasn’t your master that said,” _ the voice morphed into that of Luke Skywalker,  _ “strike me down in anger and I will always be with you.” _

“Skywalker was not my master,” Rey retorts, “and you… are not my family.”

She walks towards the portal, but as she does so, she feels a shift in the Force that suddenly turns much darker.

** _“...we can rule together…”_ **

** _“...your journey towards the dark side…”_ **

** _“The spark is out.”_ **

** _“...will be complete.”_ **

_ “Do you hear those voices?”  _ Darth Sidious asks.  _ “They’re calling to you. A warning, if you like.” _

Rey grits her teeth. “A warning?” She’s moving into attack position now, ready to strike as soon as she sees him.

The portal behind her eventually activates. Rey has her back on it, but she hears her own voice calling out Ben’s name. 

She turns around.

It’s Exegol. It’s  _ that _ day.

It’s their last moment together.

_ “Did you think your visit to this world would bear no consequences?” _

“I haven’t done  _ anything _ !” Rey growls.

_ “Oh, but you’re about to.” _ There’s a clear sneer in his voice.

The scene plays out exactly as she remembers. Every gaze, every touch, every word unsaid. She has seen it countless times in her mind. Ben caressing her nape, Ben staring into her eyes, Ben holding her so tightly, Ben… smiling at her.

But Rey knows what is next. And she wants to change it.

** _“Rey.”_ **

** _“...you heard what you wanted to hear…”_ **

_ “Do it, Rey.”  _ Sidious’ voice once again overlaps with those from stars. _ “Save him. You have the power to do that.”  _

A pause. And then: _ “If you can pay the price, that is.” _

** _“Choose someone hungrier....”_ **

“Why are you here?!” Rey cries, but she can’t keep her eyes off Ben.

Ben, who is still very much alive.

Ben, who slowly caresses her face before his arm falls lifeless at his side.

Ben, whose eyes are about to close forever.

** _“...hope is like the sun…”_ **

** _“...and you will be devoured.”_ **

An evil laugh echoes across the universe. It shakes the entire world down to the core.  _ “Oh, Rey…” _

Rey is standing on the threshold. He is so close. She could just stretch her arm and grab him, drag him out and pretend nothing ever happened. He is  _ so _ close. 

And he would be  _ alive _ .

** _“Then he’s our last hope.”_ **

Her arm actually trespasses the portal. Her fingers curl around the edges of his shirt.

Rey’s eyes grow wide. She can feel it. She can feel  _ him _ . He’s there.

She can  _ save _ him.

** _“Is it possible to learn this power?”_ **

** _“We lost our son.”_ **

** _“Not from a Jedi.”_ **

** _“You think I want to forget him? I want him back!”_ **

Ben closes his eyes. His body starts to fall.

Rey breaches through the gate. As she does, that frightening laughter echoes once again throughout the galaxy. The whole dimension shakes and starts to crumble.

_ “ _ You _ brought me here.” _

Rey wraps her arms around Ben and pulls him back with her through the portal. She hears the convor screeching out of terror; the ground is no more and they both fall behind into the nothingness.

A pool of light opens up beneath them. As it engulfs them both, Rey catches a glimpse of flowers and brown hair. Then, her eyes go blind and she finally loses consciousness, holding Ben safe against her chest.

** _“...saving what we love.”_ **

  
  


*

  
  


Rey wakes up with a jolt, sweaty and breathless. 

It’s dark, but she recognizes the scent and the shadows of her room at the Resistance headquarters.

_ Was it a dream? _

She kicks away the blanket, turns on her bedside lamp and quickly checks herself. She has bandages around her arms, legs and feet. 

She sighs in relief. It wasn’t a dream.

She looks around the room: her satchel rests in a corner, looking still full. She has no idea how long she slept. Or how she even got back from Ahch-To.

She remembers the sad lady and she remembers her grandfather’s laugh.

_ You brought me here. _

She shakes her head. No, it wasn’t real. The Force was trying to punish her for trespassing into a dimension she wasn’t supposed to be in. But she was. And she brought Ben back.

_ Ben! _

She covers her mouth with both hands, trying to contain a smile and failing. If she’s there, it means Ben is there too. She can go visit him.

She still can’t believe she made it. It was enough to stretch her arms and drag him out of that reality. When she did, she remembers watching for a second longer inside the gate and seeing the Ben in front of her older self disappear like a ghost. Just like he did originally.

The memory unsettles her. Was Ben’s disappearance her doing all along? Does that mean… she was always supposed to save him?

She drags both hands down her face. “This is ridiculous and it doesn’t make sense. Get yourself together.”

The door opens just then, revealing Rose with a tray full of clean bandages and medicines. She stops on the door as soon as she spots Rey awake.

“Oh my stars,” she exhales, rushing to her side. She leaves the tray on the bedside table and cups Rey’s face with both hands. “Are you alright? How do you feel? At the medcenter they said you were just drained, but you were wounded and bleeding and you slept for days!”

“Rose, Rose, Rose…” Rey gently pulls her hands away from her cheeks. “Slowly, please. My head is exploding.”

“Oh, right,” Rose takes a blister and a glass of water from the tray. “For the pain. Drink slowly.”

“What happened?” Rey asks as she opens the blister and places the pill on the back of her tongue. It helps her swallow them more easily. She doesn’t get along with pills, they always try to suffocate her. “How did you find us? I didn’t have time to send any messages to BB8.”

Rose frowns. “Luckily for you, he was too worried to stick to the plan and showed us the map. But we were already searching the entire island anyway. You had been away for too long.” She crosses her arms. “It was hard to get you out of that cave. And Ben is quite heavy, if you ask me.”

Rey almost chokes on her glass of water. “B-Ben is here?”

“Of course, where else would he be?”

It was fairly obvious, but that’s the confirmation Rey needs.

She jumps out of bed and starts looking for her clothes. “How is he? Has he woken up? Did he say anything?” She stops and stares at the wall for a moment before turning to Rose. “Wait, did you say you found us in the cave?”

“Yes, why?”

“Because we weren’t–” she halts. She doesn’t know how to explain where she was or how she got there. She also wonders if that place still exists, it looked like it was crumbling down when she left. What consequences could it have on the Force, or the galaxy?

She guesses she will soon find out.

“...we weren’t sure we would make it back,” she wears a random pair of pants and her usual black sweater over a black undershirt.

Rose curls her lips and squints her eyes. “So… you were both awake when you got back?”

Rey sits on the bed and starts tying the laces of her combat boots. Her back hurts when she leans down, but it’s bearable. “Why do you ask?”

Rose is on the other side of the bed, so Rey can’t see her face but she pictures her casually twirling a strand of hair with her fingers as she says, “Well, since Ben was completely naked I was just wondering what happened between the two of you.”

Rey’s head snaps up so quickly she immediately gets neck pain. “He was  _ what _ ?”

“Stark. Naked. Like a baby,” Rose says, and she is  _ indeed _ twirling her hair and looking at the ceiling like she’s not interested when she’s clearly  _ dying _ to know more. 

Rey frowns. She doesn’t understand. He was fully dressed when she saw him through the gate. She can’t quite remember if he still was after she dragged him out, though. Everything was so quick.

Rey takes a deep breath. “Where is he?”

“Are you just gonna ignore my question?”

“ _ Please _ , Rose.”

Rose sighs. “We gave him a spare room at the end of the corridor. And some  _ clothes _ , since, you know.”

Rey doesn’t even listen to the end of her sentence, she’s already out of the room and running down the corridor despite her feet hurting like hell.

Some people call her name as she passes by, surprised to see her already up and running. They’ve probably heard of what she’s done in the Outer Rim and if not, they will hear about it soon enough. There’s no way to keep a secret in that place.

She only offers quick smiles and she doesn’t stop for anyone. Not even for Rose, who’s apparently running after her.

“Rey, wait! I need to tell you something!”

“Later!” Rey chirps, smiling from ear to ear.

She reaches the end of the corridor and stops in front of what should be Ben’s new room.

Her smile threatens to break her cheeks. 

_ Ben’s room _ . 

It’s his room now. He’s there to stay.

She knocks. Twice.

A long moment of silence follows, and then– 

“Come in.”

Rey covers her mouth. It’s his voice. It’s  _ him _ .

And he sounds alive and well.

She turns the knob almost religiously and pushes the door open just enough to slip inside.

Ben, who was seemingly in the middle of looking through some stuff, turns around.

Rey closes the door. Not because she actually intended to, but the sight of him made her retreat and look for support against the first available surface and her weight did the rest.

Someone clearly thought it would be funny to pull out some old Han’s clothes from the maker-knows-where and give them to his son. The black boots, the white V-neck henley, the dark vest – everything about Ben’s attire screams Solo.

He looks stunning even in the dim-light of the room. His wounds seem healed, his complexion is as healthy as ever. He’s exactly as tall and as broad as she remembered, his dark hair are still graciously caressing his shoulders too. And he hasn’t aged one day, of course.

Rey can’t help it – more than that, she doesn’t want to. It’s been five years.

She runs to him and wraps him in a tight hug, resting her head against his chest. He’s warm and his heart is beating regularly. She can’t believe any of it.

“Welcome back,” she sobs, even though she tries hard to swallow back the tears. She doesn’t want him to see her cry. This is not a sad moment, it’s probably the happiest moment of her life.

She stays like that for a while, just feeling his body against hers, inhaling his scent and listening to his heart. It’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard.

But then, he clears his throat. And Rey realizes he is not hugging her back.

She slowly releases him, a confused frown on her face. “Ben?”

He’s staring at her with curiosity. 

“Yes, I’m Ben.” He cocks his head to the side. “Who are you?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [World Between Worlds](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/World_between_worlds)
> 
> [Morai](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Morai)  

> 
> It's 5 am and my eyes are half-closed, so excuse any grammar mistake/horror, but feel free to point them out so I can fix them tomorrow. Also I don't have a beta and english isn't my first language so yeah... a whole mess!!
> 
> How was this journey through the WBW? I had such a hard time writing this chapter, not gonna lie. I wanted to stay true to canon, but I also went rogue on more than one thing and I hope the result is still somewhat acceptable, you tell me!
> 
> The convor in this chapter is not Ahsoka's Morai, as you could tell by the fact that its plumage has different colors. This is one of the many writing licences I took while writing this chapter! 
> 
> Picking quotes for the WBW has been a hard task as well, but I guess you could have fun trying to guess who says what!
> 
> I don't have much to say about this chapter (or most probably I forgot everything because I'm sleep-typing), except that I loooove Rey's combat boots! I was fairly tired of her ugly space boots from the movies. They're more or less like this: [link](https://www.shoeland.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1800x2700/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/f/l/florence2_black_om2_2.jpg).
> 
> So, how did you like this one? Did it make you emote or did I fail completely? Also, did you like the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn6kBvb-fag) I recommended?? I know reading with music can be hard, but give it a listen after you're done reading, you won't regret! 
> 
> Let me know in the comments if you hate me or nah♥ I will reply to everyone tomorrow after I get some sleep, I swear! See you soon!


	3. 3. Scars

**3\. Scars**

  
  


“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

Rey slumps back in the Falcon seat and stares at the empty hologame table. She remembers the last time she played with Finn: she won five consecutive times and he accused her of cheating before storming out. She ate both her lunch and Finn’s, that day.

Rose sighs and places her feet on it, throwing one black boot over the other. She frowns and crosses her arms. “This is…”

“A nightmare?”

“...complicated.” Rose says carefully, looking at her friend. She can see Rey is trying hard not to show how upset she is. She doesn’t blame her, she waited five years to find out the man she loves doesn’t even remember her. Maybe this _is _actually a nightmare.

“No.” Rey closes her eyes, defeated. “This is the price to pay,” she murmurs.

“What?”

“Does he really not remember anything?” She looks at Rose. “Nothing at all?”

Rose shakes her head. “I mean, he didn’t say much since he woke up, but he didn’t even know his name, so…”

Rey stares at the table again. She’s not really seeing it, her mind is elsewhere. 

Luke warned her there would be consequences; Darth Sidious did, too. Rey thought she would find out later in time that something in the galaxy was wrong, but now she knows that would have been too easy. The Force punished her with the cruelest stroke.

Rose takes a deep breath, wishing she didn’t have to say what she’s about to say.

“That’s not even the biggest problem right now, Rey.”

Rey glances at her, a deep frown forming between her eyebrows. Her hair is loose on her shoulders today, it reaches below her breasts. Rose always tells her she should keep it like that more often. 

She straightens her back. “What do you mean?”

“The Council wants to see him.”

“Why?”

“They want to put him on trial for his actions as leader of the First Order.”

Rey’s eyes grow wide. “This doesn’t make sense, you just said he doesn’t remember anything.”

Rose nods. “They know. They don’t care.”

Rey slams her fist on the holotable, making Rose jerk and remove her feet from it. She has known Rey long enough to know these bursts of rage aren’t unusual, but there’s something different lately. Rose is not Force-sensitive, but she’s a good observer. And Finn has told her that there seems to be a different aura around Rey that peaked when they were on Ahch-To.

“This is ridiculous. The war is over, they should be focusing on building a new government, not on prosecuting war heroes.”

“They… don’t really see him as a hero, I think.” Rose says carefully. “A lot of people still don’t know about Exegol.”

Rey stands up, fists clenched and jaw stiff. “It’s about time they do.”

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


BB8 is beeping incessantly and Poe is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Yeah? Well, if you’re so good, why don’t you fix it yourself?” He snaps, hitting the panel of his X-Wing with the wrench and regretting the action a moment later. He proceeds to caress the aircraft with soft movements. “Shit baby, I’m sorry.”

The war might be over, but it doesn’t mean the galaxy is at peace. Without a stable government, the risk of a new First Order rising up from the ashes of its predecessor is always around the corner and Poe wants to be ready. Especially after the sick trick the Emperor managed to pull just five years before. Poe can still see the Sith fleet in his nightmares; it came out from nowhere and was suddenly just there. The worst enemy is the one you can’t see coming.

Lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t catch the stressed sounds his orange droid is emitting until it’s too late and said droid has had enough of being ignored. BB8 bumps him with his round head, making Poe lose his hold on the big wrench.

The tool falls down the craft and lands ruinously on the floor, its metallic sound echoing on the walls of the hangar. It doesn’t stay there long. A hand picks it up almost immediately and when Poe looks down, he spots Captain Solo staring back at him in his iconic leather jacket and signature smirk.

He rubs his eyes with the clean part of his sleeve and when he looks again, he realizes his mistake. 

“Need a hand?” Ben Solo says, clearly unaware of how much he really does look like his father, especially in those clothes.

Poe looks for another wrench. “No.”

Finn told him about Ahch-To, of course, but even he didn’t know what exactly happened there. Rey disappeared for days and when they found her, Ben Solo had magically appeared by her side.

_ No, not Ben Solo_, Poe tells himself as he tightens some tube. _This is Kylo Ren. Leader of the First Order. _

And Poe will not let his guard down. He might have lost his memories, but he’s still the man the whole galaxy feared for years. It would be stupid to trust him.

“What’s wrong with her?” Ben continues, leaning down to pass under the wings.

Poe can’t help but snort. “If I knew, I would have fixed it by now.” He tightens the pipe some more, then stops. “How do you know it’s a ‘her’?”

For a moment, Poe wonders if Ben Solo is the type to name his aircrafts and treat them like children too. It would be something they have in common, as weird as it sounds, and it makes him feel just a little more comfortable. 

Ben brushes his palm against the cold metal. “A feeling.” He walks calmly around the aircraft and reaches the ladder. “I could help you fix her.”

He moves behind the aircraft and stares at it from up close.

“I doubt it,” Poe smirks. “I know this baby better than anyone else and I’ve been working on her for two hours. Not even BB8 managed–”

“Done.”

Poe turns around so fast he almost slips and falls. “What?” He looks down and sees Ben looking back at him. “...Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it was the fuel pump. It gets clogged sometimes, one or two bumps usually do the trick.”

Poe can’t believe his ears. He immediately jumps into the cockpit and tries to turn on the engine.

It works.

He can hear BB8 sounds of approval and it irritates him for some reason. He looks like a fool now.

Poe climbs down the starfighter and removes his dirty gloves, pushing both of them in the back pocket. It doesn’t look like Ben Solo is expecting any thanks, he’s busy looking around the hangar with wide eyes full of wonder that remind Poe of how he used to look at starfighters when he was a child. His hatred for the man in front of him diminishes just a little.

“Thanks.” It’s more of a mumble than a word, but it’s hard enough as it is.

Ben lifts the corner of his lips in a smile and for a moment Poe Dameron doesn’t know who this man is. He hasn’t seen Kylo Ren’s face that many times, but still that cloaked figure seems to have nothing to do with the young man in front of him. It’s unsettling.

He clears his throat. If he looks at Ben any longer he might just forget who he really is. 

“Well, I guess the Force helps you in stuff like that.”

Ben’s eyebrows furrow as quickly as his smile disappears. “The force? I didn’t hit the pump that hard. You could do it too.”

“No, I meant–”

“Poe.”

Both men turn around to see Rey approaching them. By now, Poe knows her enough to catch the glimpse of worry on her face, despite her attempts to hide it.

“Finn is looking for you everywhere. He told me to tell you something,” she says, grabbing his arm to make him turn around and away from Ben’s ears. 

Poe can feel Rey’s warm breath on his cheek before she whispers, “Don’t tell him anything about the Force.”

She pulls back with the fakest smile Poe has ever seen. Rey is not good at these things and he doesn’t know why she wants to keep Ben Solo’s force-sensitivity a secret, but he doesn’t ask: Rey looks more exhausted than usual and her eyes are always too wet. It looks like she’s crying more now than when Ben was gone. Poe figures that the whole situation must be hard for her.

“Ben,” she says, and her voice shakes just for a moment. The way she swallows after the word doesn’t go unnoticed in Poe’s eyes. “Come with me.”

Ben raises an eyebrow, but follows her without a word. Rey’s hand reaches out to touch his arm as they walk, but she drops it before he can notice.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


Rey turns around with open arms and a big smile. “And this is the cafeteria. Our tour ends here.” 

Ben looks around: there are boxes and old machinery in the corners and long wires along the floor; an excessive amount of tables looks more like scrap materials put together than actual tables, let alone the seats. 

Still, every plate is full and people are chatting cheerfully, making the atmosphere familiar and comfortable.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Rey places both hands on her hips as she follows his stare. “But you should’ve seen it a couple of years ago. We’ve done a lot of renovations since then.”

“That’s not it,” Ben’s eyes finally find their way into hers. “I was wondering what would be the right moment to tell you that Rose already gave me a tour of the base.”

He smiles, crooked teeth and dimples on display. Rey’s heart does a triple axel.

“Oh…” she’s confused and maybe just a little disappointed, even if there is no reason to. “Then… why did you follow me this whole time?”

It’s Ben’s turn to look slightly uncomfortable. He rubs his nape and wets his lips, “I guess… I wanted to spend some time with you.”

He looks embarrassed, but Rey is too shocked by what he just said to register anything that is happening around her. “Me?” she echoes, sounding silly even to her own ears. “Why?”

Rey never had much time to get to know the real man behind the Kylo Ren persona, so she figures that’s the reason why she’s so fascinated with every little thing Ben does – for example the way his nose wrinkles when he’s in deep thoughts like he is now.

He crosses his arms and clears his throat, trying maybe to look less uncomfortable than he is and failing miserably. “You… uhm…” he’s chewing on his lower lip, “you were… you looked very happy to see me… like, _ very _ happy… and I can’t recognize anyone after the accident, but I was wondering…”

Rey has been leaning closer without noticing. She feels like she might die if he doesn’t complete the sentence. Ben doesn’t meet her gaze until the very last words.

“...are you my wife?”

It’s quick and painful.

Rey’s mind goes back to a certain red room, the shadow of a man standing out against the pitch black starry sky, a gloved hand stretched towards her and those words… almost like a proposal.

She did not take his hand that day. Nor the second time he offered her his heart along with the galaxy whole.

She only held his hand when it was too late. Regret has been haunting her for years.

Rey is not sure what kind of face she’s making, but it must not be a good one judging from Ben’s reaction. She can’t help it. It’s incredible how, even without his memories, Ben’s instinct remains the same. 

“...Girlfriend. Or girlfriend.” Ben quickly says, clearing his throat and looking down at his feet and around him – anywhere but Rey. “Why did I say wife?” he murmurs through gritted teeth, more to himself.

Rey manages to pull herself out of those miserable memories and shakes her head. “No. No, I…” she wonders how much it would hurt him to know the truth. She’s trying to give him a blank slate to start again, which is why she told everyone not to mention the Force or his past life to him. 

She knows some people are eager to spit everything in his face, but her authority in the Resistance must count to some degree. There’s no guarantee he will ever regain his memories, why should he suffer for something he can’t even remember?

Resolution washes over her face. If he needs to start anew, she should not burden him with feelings that don’t belong to him anymore.

“I’m not.” She smiles. “There was nothing like that between us.”

Ben tilts his head, his eyes seemingly trying to read into her soul to see if what she told him is the truth. Rey diverts her gaze immediately, hoping not to look too guilty.

Ben smiles, an invisible weight leaving his shoulders. “Is that so? I’m glad.” He realizes his mistake before the last word leaves his mouth and his eyes grow wide. “I mean, not that it would be a bad thing. I just think that it would be really sad to forget someone you love.”

Rey’s smile doesn’t fade, but any trace of sincerity in it does, as quickly as the light in her eyes. She can’t bring herself to say anything else except, “You’re right.”

Rey took pain in small doses every day of her life in the past five years. She’s used to the sharp pang that visits her heart on a daily basis. She endures it like a champ by now.

Indeed, Ben doesn’t notice her discomfort, because otherwise he wouldn’t ask his next question, “What was our relationship, then?”

“Excuse me,” says a pilot still in her orange suit, trying to pass through them. That’s when Rey realizes they’re blocking the entrance.

She walks to the counter and starts piling napkins on her tray. Ben follows, side-eyeing her.

“Do you need that many napkins?”

Rey ignores him. “We fought together in the last war,” she says, pushing her tray along the counter. She sees Ben straightening his back with the corner of her eye. He’s listening. “We were… on the same team.”

“Oh.”

Ben seems to like that answer. He grins at her. “Was I any good?”

Rey doesn’t hesitate this time. She turns around and smiles softly, almost melancholically. “You were very good.”

Her cheeks form cute dimples when she smiles fully and there’s a sea of freckles sprinkled on her nose. Her face has very delicate lines framed by a cascade of long brown hair falling graciously on her shoulders.

Luckily, Rey doesn’t notice how long Ben has been staring at her, because the Artiodac behind the counter drops a spoonful of some green mash on her plate with a bit too much enthusiasm, splattering some of it over Rey’s sweater.

“Kriff, I’m sorry Rey.”

Rey takes a few of those infamous napkins. “It’s okay, Cookie.”

“It won’t come off if you wipe it like that, you need to be more aggressive,” the cook says, reaching out to the sweater. “Here, let me help you.”

“_Don’t touch it_.” 

Cookie pulls back as if burned, both his red eye and his white one wide in shock. Rey realizes she has been a bit too loud when she notices the deafening silence around them. She feels the stares on her back, at least two dozen people wondering what is wrong with her this time.

“Sorry,” Cookie repeats, confusion visible all over his face.

Rey wants to tell him that he did nothing wrong, that it’s all her fault because it’s all in her head, the throbbing pain that never goes away, that pushed her to become so attached to a piece of clothing to the point that it’s ridiculous. 

Her hands shake as she keeps trying to wipe the mash off the cloth while being as delicate as possible. Her eyes are burning and a warm wave rises from her stomach and makes her feel suffocated and overwhelmed at the same time. 

Ben doesn’t quite get what is happening. Why getting so defensive over such an old sweater? He noticed it when they first met too, it’s too large for Rey and even has a hole in the middle. She seems to always wear it wherever she goes. Odd girl.

Rey stops trying to clean the sweater and drops her hands on the tray, looking defeated and exhausted. “I’m sorry, I have to go now.” She doesn’t have the courage to meet Ben’s eyes.

He doesn’t understand why her mood changed so fast. “I thought we would have lunch together?”

“I’m sorry, I…” Rey takes a few steps back, looking lost. There is something wrong, Ben can feel it. It’s more than a sensation, it’s like he can feel what is happening inside of her. He doesn’t know why and he doesn’t like what she’s feeling. She’s… sad. Heartbroken.

“See you later, okay Ben?” She finally looks at him. There is something in her voice and in the way she stares that makes Ben feel that’s not just any question. He feels that if he doesn’t answer, she might believe they are never going to meet again. She needs to know that she’ll see him again.

Despite his confusion, Ben smiles as if nothing happened. “Sure. See you later, Rey.”

She looks relieved as she walks away and Ben follows her until she’s out of his sight. 

He can’t help but notice the way she seemed to be wiping her cheeks.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cookie♥ <https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Strono_Tuggs>
> 
> My backstory for him is that the ongoing war against the First Order made it at some point impossible for him to keep his store open on Batuu, so he decided to become a cook for the Resistance!
> 
> First of all, I know less than nothing about X-Wings and despite trying to find any good map of the components, I didn't, so please pretend whatever technical stuff I said in that scene makes sense. I also accept lessons on X-Wings lol
> 
> I decided I will keep my chapters shorter (2-3k words) in hope to update faster! With exceptions, of course, since I really don't have any creative control over what I write, my brain does and we don't get along as often as you might think.
> 
> If you liked it or if you want to punch me in the face, please let me know in the comments♥


End file.
